Can’t Accept What Happened?


We seem to be surrounded by the message that we just need to accept what happened, but I think there’s a lot of confusion and unhelpful implications about what it actually means to “accept it.”

Acceptance doesn’t mean I’m cool with what happened. 

It means I accept what my reality is so that I can begin to do what I need to do to get myself through it or respond to what is happening.  If you are feeling like you are having a hard time accepting the loss of your sweet little one, this podcast episode is for you.

Acceptance means taking care of myself based on what my reality is, not what I want it to be.

However the message that many of us feel like we’re receiving is that accepting our little one means we”re at total peace with losing them. And that starts to sound a lot like indifference, and well, I’m never going to feel neutral or nonchalant about the death of my daughter.

For me, acceptance means I’m willing to work with what my reality actually is, not what I feel like it “should” have been.

It means I’m willing to work through and past the resistance that keeps us stuck.

Stuck in suffering, anger, pain and grief. 

Stuck in resentment, victimhood and powerlessness.

writing and working away with my tiny sidekick beside me.

When we refuse to accept and absorb what happened,  our mental version of what should have happened begins to function like a wall, a wall between you and your ability to take care of yourself as you move through this hard, unwanted thing, a wall that cuts you off from knowing what to do next, from moving forward in any direction or making a decision to try again. 

Listen in to this week’s episode to hear:

** the myths and misunderstandings of “acceptance” 

** how to release the resistance that keeps us stuck and suffering

** how acceptance connects you to your power and agency

Listen in here on itunes and spotify and pretty much everywhere else too.

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Please note:

This site is not a replacement for therapy, assessment, treatment or diagnosis.  This show is intended for educational purposes only.   See your physician, counsellor or local crisis support centre if needed

All identifying details about the people and the stories shared here are removed to protect confidentiality.


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